趁着离休年假开始前的空档期（勉强挤出来的）跟系里一班第一年的男生女生浩浩荡荡的去Pantai Kerachut。我参进他们，他们一班人的平均年龄被拉高，而我的变年轻。那些莽撞少年呀，嘻嘻哈哈的，又粗口又肆无惮忌的喧哗，青春无悔就是这种面貌。其实你们让我很开心啦，偶尔发发神经，也让我沾些许很久已经失味的单纯。你们都是很快乐的，因为你们都单纯，大家直心相对，毫无机心，那就是青春最美的地方。
离开海边之前，我看到有人不小心露出一封淋湿的纸条，猜大概是有只傻瓜（除了带头爱喊“ITCH”的大姐头之外，还会有谁呢）的提议，以为我将“不久人世”，写好什么临别感言之类的东西，作为临别的赠礼。喂，这样cheap不cheap一点啊？至少也买些纪念品什么的嘛。你既然没说，我也不问，这是我给自己保留的一份没有揭开的美丽憧憬。这样一来，不理事实是否如此，我就可保有一群可爱的学生曾经因为自己的离去而感动过的美丽记忆。朦朦胧胧不揭开的迷，不都总是最为美丽的吗？这是在马大唸硕士班时候，隔壁山上数学系的郭伟强教会我的“道理”。
几个月之后我就会从宝岛回槟岛，继续在理大教学研究的日子。到时你们尚在人间hor?约你们爬升旗山，练好脚力哦，尤其是美霞。我还要告诉你们哦，你们的俏皮和放肆（男生们的粗口除外），是我生活中缤纷的点缀。你们去青春飞扬吧，我在旁边静静的看，但会在心里暗暗的偷笑。是欢喜暗笑的那种，不是看你们点死的那种啦。
29.6.13
另一轮離修年假的开始
又是另一轮離修年假的开始。看了成大副校长博文，離修年按哈佛大学的标准为 "...應用於從事研究、或其他能提升該教授的學術成就，提升大學的聲譽或使大學受益的活動。"我愿以此黄金标准来鞭策自己。
在中央大学物理所的数个月期间的际遇我在殷切的期待中。回首过去的好多个年头，日子踏踏实实在埋头工作中就这样过去了。虽然不至于唏嘘一事无成，但缺失的是跳离惯性的生活框框的惊喜。现在机会来了。可以一个人自在的生活在外数月，少了许多妈妈带来的束缚。
套句JJ的用语，让自己reboot一次。让生活的惯性reboot，让心灵reboot，让初心reboot。
殷切期待中。
在中央大学物理所的数个月期间的际遇我在殷切的期待中。回首过去的好多个年头，日子踏踏实实在埋头工作中就这样过去了。虽然不至于唏嘘一事无成，但缺失的是跳离惯性的生活框框的惊喜。现在机会来了。可以一个人自在的生活在外数月，少了许多妈妈带来的束缚。
套句JJ的用语，让自己reboot一次。让生活的惯性reboot，让心灵reboot，让初心reboot。
殷切期待中。
25.2.12
Applying to US graduate school for a Ph.D: From the perspective of a physics major student from a Malaysian physics school
The following is an edited version of email record between YY and me. He was a locally graduated physics student (non USM), first class, very enthusiatic but 'troubled' after reading the emails to me by Mee Hui, now in Utah pursuing her Ph.D. in physics.
I reckon that those who are in similar situation like YY, from the similar education/social background, may find my response to YY useful. In particular, he raised a few questions on how to pave the way to US for a Ph.D. degree in physics, from the perspective of a physics students graduated from local universities inspired to climb up the tip of the pyramid and to make the globe a blue ocean to realise his/her dream as a world-class physicist.
If you are a physics major student in a Malaysian university physics department/school, in particular from USM and is thinking of pursuing a Ph.D in the US, this article would give you some general ideas of how to make it a reality.
The following is the original email by YY after some minor editing.
_______________________________________________________
From: YY
Sent: 29 January 2012 10:57
To: Yoon Tiem Leong
Subject: A "fresh" graduate seeking for advise in physics.
Hey there Dr Yoon,
Reading your blog is very, very disturbing – especially when you’ve posted about one of your ex student in Utah (Mei Hui). I’ve been interested in Physics (especially theoretical, stuff with lots of mathematics, computation and numerical simulations). With that I’ve changed over to Physics as my undergraduate course here in UKM, just to notice that the taught courses here are far from my imagination – I desire to know more. That’s when I’ve set my ‘goal’ (to be precise, just ‘daydream’) to go overseas for Physics postgraduate.
But there was another part of life – reality. I learnt that money is indeed important, and my family can never support me through postgraduate, not to mention when it’s overseas. Due to personal preferences, I’ve not applied for postgraduate in the university I gradauted from. Now that I’ve graduated for ~1 year, working as an engineer. I’ve been completely disconnected from the academic world now, and no action was taken so far for postgraduate studies. And worst of all, I have a limiting belief – I’ve always believed that overseas education is a luxury I can’t enjoy given my financial status.
Then I’ve saw your blog with Mei Hui’s story. It seems that she’s having tuition grant for her studies, and living happily in the US. Now that I have the momentum again, I seriously hope that you/Mei Hui can help to change my limiting belief (or confirming them) – by explaining the situation in applying overseas for grants. I’ll perhaps start off by leaving a few questions for you:
- Do we usually get tuition grant from other universities (eg UTAH)? Do they need flying results and so on?
- How about living expenses? Does TA payoff sufficiently for everything else? Do I need to top up from myself/family?
- Which university should I apply for? I am keen on going into the top 10 universities but I doubt that they’ll be interested in my credentials for now. I have no idea which other universities should I consider.
- Any general suggestion/advises?
I’m sorry if my queries sounds subjective. I guess I just need some ‘real-life example’ of my ‘daydream’.
PS: if Dr were to post my queries online, please avoid putting my real name (or university name).
Thanks!
Lost,
YY
*******************************************************
YY,
Thanks for your email. i am perfectly glad that my post has reap some response to our local physics graduate (despite it being 'disturbing' to you). i always wish that our local physics students could be made aware of what is happening in the world outside, in particular, how other graduate students are doing physics overseas. Mei Hui appears to be the first student i successfully persuaded to go to US for graduate study in physics despite many years of effort to 'preach' to other students to do so. It seems like many local students either don't have the desire to pursue a career in physics research, or just simply having no guts to do so. so when mei hui successfully went over to US, i was really pleased that at least we are not totally deprived of enthusiasts and aspired young men/women.
Here are my reply to some of your concern:
YY: Do we usually get tuition grant from other universities (eg UTAH)? Do they need flying results and so on?
YY: How about living expenses? Does TA payoff sufficiently for everything else? Do I need to top up from myself/family?
If a US graduate school accepts you as a graduate student, they normally will provide (though not in gauranteed term) teaching assistantship (TA). This usually is enough to cover your expenses in the us (to pay for food, accommodation, living etc). Usually the tuition fee is waived (meaning you dont need to pay the tuition fee). As a TA you need to help them do grading, look after lab or assist in teachings. mei hui did not get a flying result (sorry MH for exposing your 'achievment'). Her undergraduate result is ok but not extremely excellent. So is her GRE grades. But her english is good, with a very mature thinking. I also heard of story even people has saved up enough to send some money back home with the TA money. The best part of doing postgrade study in the US is that they have more than 1000 universities offering PhD in physics. So there is a vast opportunity awaiting for whoever have the guts to apply.
YY: Which university should I apply for? I am keen on going into the top 10 universities but I doubt that they’ll be interested in my credentials for now. I have no idea which other universities should I consider.
As a common strategy you usually shortlist 10 graduate school of your own choice. To check the info, browse the physics department/school webpage for 'potential gradaute students' or 'graduate study'. I spent a few months crawing through the webpages from site to site to find the graduate school that suits me best. i prepared a short intro and cv of myself and emailed it to the persons in charged of graduate study emission (in each uni I am interested in) to ask for his/her comment on my chance of getting in their gradaute school if i lodge an application. The working strategy is to list 5 school from the top 50, then choose 1 each from rank 50-60, 60-70, 70-80, 80-90,90-100. You can do similar choice based on slightly different criteria of your own. If your GRE or undergraduate results / cv is not extremely excellent (an excellent cv would be, e.g., 5 PRL publications from your final year project, or nearly won a Nobel prize but missed it because the Nobel comittee can't understand your great work etc.), you would avoid putting too much concentration on top ranking grade schools. If your GRE scores are very high (say around 95% ), then u afford to apply to top ranking schools. Otherwise, applying for not-so-top ranked grad schools give you better chance. The feedback/response from the person in charge of graduate admission shall be very helpful to determine weather a particular grad school is worthy to give it a try or otherwise. Most graduate school in the top 200 list of USNEWS are good schools. Just choose 10 that you think you like best. Also, if you choose those grad schools that already have malaysians the chance could be higher (such as texas austin, georgia tech, nortre dame, utah). If you got to join the facebook group of Malaysian Scientists Abroad, people there may give you better suggestion.
YY: Any general suggestion/advises?
You emails is written in a very good english, and your expression is well structured. Your initiative to write to me also suggests that you are a very keen person to realise your dream as a physicisit. If you decide to go ahead to turn your day dream into reality, the chance of success is very high. The procedure requires: taking general gre test, subject test, toefl, asking your academic referees to write you recommendation letters, preparing a statements of purpose (or personal statement). This procedure is a lengthy endeavor. It involves months of preparation (for the gre, toefl tests), webpage researching, and also money. Prepare to spend about RM 2-3 k to pay for the expenses (reference materials, application fees and postage).
This is the beginning of the lunar calendar, so is a good time to for plan for your future and a new direction. If you really are serious about altering the direction of your life to become a physicist sitting at the top of the society's strata, you can realise it by taking real steps from now. There is also a fb page "Malaysian Scientists Abroad" (mostly graduate students). most probably u will get a lot of info or advice from there as well.
pls feel free to keep in touch with me.
tl
I reckon that those who are in similar situation like YY, from the similar education/social background, may find my response to YY useful. In particular, he raised a few questions on how to pave the way to US for a Ph.D. degree in physics, from the perspective of a physics students graduated from local universities inspired to climb up the tip of the pyramid and to make the globe a blue ocean to realise his/her dream as a world-class physicist.
If you are a physics major student in a Malaysian university physics department/school, in particular from USM and is thinking of pursuing a Ph.D in the US, this article would give you some general ideas of how to make it a reality.
The following is the original email by YY after some minor editing.
_______________________________________________________
From: YY
Sent: 29 January 2012 10:57
To: Yoon Tiem Leong
Subject: A "fresh" graduate seeking for advise in physics.
Hey there Dr Yoon,
Reading your blog is very, very disturbing – especially when you’ve posted about one of your ex student in Utah (Mei Hui). I’ve been interested in Physics (especially theoretical, stuff with lots of mathematics, computation and numerical simulations). With that I’ve changed over to Physics as my undergraduate course here in UKM, just to notice that the taught courses here are far from my imagination – I desire to know more. That’s when I’ve set my ‘goal’ (to be precise, just ‘daydream’) to go overseas for Physics postgraduate.
But there was another part of life – reality. I learnt that money is indeed important, and my family can never support me through postgraduate, not to mention when it’s overseas. Due to personal preferences, I’ve not applied for postgraduate in the university I gradauted from. Now that I’ve graduated for ~1 year, working as an engineer. I’ve been completely disconnected from the academic world now, and no action was taken so far for postgraduate studies. And worst of all, I have a limiting belief – I’ve always believed that overseas education is a luxury I can’t enjoy given my financial status.
Then I’ve saw your blog with Mei Hui’s story. It seems that she’s having tuition grant for her studies, and living happily in the US. Now that I have the momentum again, I seriously hope that you/Mei Hui can help to change my limiting belief (or confirming them) – by explaining the situation in applying overseas for grants. I’ll perhaps start off by leaving a few questions for you:
- Do we usually get tuition grant from other universities (eg UTAH)? Do they need flying results and so on?
- How about living expenses? Does TA payoff sufficiently for everything else? Do I need to top up from myself/family?
- Which university should I apply for? I am keen on going into the top 10 universities but I doubt that they’ll be interested in my credentials for now. I have no idea which other universities should I consider.
- Any general suggestion/advises?
I’m sorry if my queries sounds subjective. I guess I just need some ‘real-life example’ of my ‘daydream’.
PS: if Dr were to post my queries online, please avoid putting my real name (or university name).
Thanks!
Lost,
YY
*******************************************************
YY,
Thanks for your email. i am perfectly glad that my post has reap some response to our local physics graduate (despite it being 'disturbing' to you). i always wish that our local physics students could be made aware of what is happening in the world outside, in particular, how other graduate students are doing physics overseas. Mei Hui appears to be the first student i successfully persuaded to go to US for graduate study in physics despite many years of effort to 'preach' to other students to do so. It seems like many local students either don't have the desire to pursue a career in physics research, or just simply having no guts to do so. so when mei hui successfully went over to US, i was really pleased that at least we are not totally deprived of enthusiasts and aspired young men/women.
Here are my reply to some of your concern:
YY: Do we usually get tuition grant from other universities (eg UTAH)? Do they need flying results and so on?
YY: How about living expenses? Does TA payoff sufficiently for everything else? Do I need to top up from myself/family?
If a US graduate school accepts you as a graduate student, they normally will provide (though not in gauranteed term) teaching assistantship (TA). This usually is enough to cover your expenses in the us (to pay for food, accommodation, living etc). Usually the tuition fee is waived (meaning you dont need to pay the tuition fee). As a TA you need to help them do grading, look after lab or assist in teachings. mei hui did not get a flying result (sorry MH for exposing your 'achievment'). Her undergraduate result is ok but not extremely excellent. So is her GRE grades. But her english is good, with a very mature thinking. I also heard of story even people has saved up enough to send some money back home with the TA money. The best part of doing postgrade study in the US is that they have more than 1000 universities offering PhD in physics. So there is a vast opportunity awaiting for whoever have the guts to apply.
YY: Which university should I apply for? I am keen on going into the top 10 universities but I doubt that they’ll be interested in my credentials for now. I have no idea which other universities should I consider.
As a common strategy you usually shortlist 10 graduate school of your own choice. To check the info, browse the physics department/school webpage for 'potential gradaute students' or 'graduate study'. I spent a few months crawing through the webpages from site to site to find the graduate school that suits me best. i prepared a short intro and cv of myself and emailed it to the persons in charged of graduate study emission (in each uni I am interested in) to ask for his/her comment on my chance of getting in their gradaute school if i lodge an application. The working strategy is to list 5 school from the top 50, then choose 1 each from rank 50-60, 60-70, 70-80, 80-90,90-100. You can do similar choice based on slightly different criteria of your own. If your GRE or undergraduate results / cv is not extremely excellent (an excellent cv would be, e.g., 5 PRL publications from your final year project, or nearly won a Nobel prize but missed it because the Nobel comittee can't understand your great work etc.), you would avoid putting too much concentration on top ranking grade schools. If your GRE scores are very high (say around 95% ), then u afford to apply to top ranking schools. Otherwise, applying for not-so-top ranked grad schools give you better chance. The feedback/response from the person in charge of graduate admission shall be very helpful to determine weather a particular grad school is worthy to give it a try or otherwise. Most graduate school in the top 200 list of USNEWS are good schools. Just choose 10 that you think you like best. Also, if you choose those grad schools that already have malaysians the chance could be higher (such as texas austin, georgia tech, nortre dame, utah). If you got to join the facebook group of Malaysian Scientists Abroad, people there may give you better suggestion.
YY: Any general suggestion/advises?
You emails is written in a very good english, and your expression is well structured. Your initiative to write to me also suggests that you are a very keen person to realise your dream as a physicisit. If you decide to go ahead to turn your day dream into reality, the chance of success is very high. The procedure requires: taking general gre test, subject test, toefl, asking your academic referees to write you recommendation letters, preparing a statements of purpose (or personal statement). This procedure is a lengthy endeavor. It involves months of preparation (for the gre, toefl tests), webpage researching, and also money. Prepare to spend about RM 2-3 k to pay for the expenses (reference materials, application fees and postage).
This is the beginning of the lunar calendar, so is a good time to for plan for your future and a new direction. If you really are serious about altering the direction of your life to become a physicist sitting at the top of the society's strata, you can realise it by taking real steps from now. There is also a fb page "Malaysian Scientists Abroad" (mostly graduate students). most probably u will get a lot of info or advice from there as well.
pls feel free to keep in touch with me.
tl
19.1.12
Life of an ex-USM student as a physics graduate student in an American university (part 1)
Mei Hui is an ex-undegraduate student from USM school of physics (graduated year 2010). She is now pursuing her Ph.D. in Utah University in the US. I am profoundly proud of her for daring to take up the proactive effort to make her way to the US to pursue her dream. She wrote to me from time to time. Her sharing of expereince as a Malaysian graduate student in a US physics graduate school is remarkably interesting. Her lengthy emails reflects the many constrasts between our local academic environment and that in the US. From her email, in many ways, we understand in vivid detail our difficiencies when subjected to comparison with a mor mature society. I wish that my adopting her email to me in this blog could dissaminate some inpiring seed to open up the minds and world view of our local people.
_______________________________________________________________
I started my 2nd semester this week. Still on full tuition benefits (passed cgpa 1st sem-i am very lucky in this aspect).
Life here is good. but i'll jump right in to academic stuff so you know whats here all about.
i took two classes the last semester, EM1 &class mech, Math methodes. For EM1 (Jackson) and class mech (Landau) Math Met (Arfken-my prof co author for this book and he made us use it).
E&M& class mech was a combine class because we were taught how to use the equation of motion in E field and along with special relativity as well. (he taught us this in one week be4 and came up in finals). landau book is a very good book. also there are alot more in class mech syllabus that weren't taught in class mech class. but even before i begin, please i think its a dead necessary for all undergrad student to take class mech. overhere its a compulsory regardless what field and they expect you to know. its lucky i did took it otherwise i have to waste a semester relearning them with undergrad and believe you me i had a lot of trouble trying to understand class mech, i'm always behind everyone.
ok we learnt how to modify the equation by keeping the potential level unchange in through the lagrangian, find the period too. and we do this by employing variational calculus in it, we also learn how to use the green theorem lots and lots of math learnt in math methods we used, spherical harmonics (EM), weird ways of integration i never thought of before (i can't quite remember which one now cause now it is easy for me and i dont remember which i already know and which i just learnt). then we learn the four dimension matrices in special relativity (never seen in undergrad) . and most important thing was the boundary conditions, i learnt how to apply boundary condition naturally i learn how the physics of dielectrics, conductors, new system arrangements of those two, edges and no edges (E field explode). which means i need to understand whats going on in the B field and H field. (it took me serious serious weeks of studying and banging my head on the wall to get this right because this was entirely skimmed through in undergrad). oh one thing i learn and value the most was how to approximate equations and finding out the constant by apply fourier transform. this is the hardest part of it because even after i derive everything i need to know which to eliminate which i never know which or which constant to keep and which to forgo. in the end i get lots minus of marks because i couldnt get it down to the simplest form. this intuition and physics need to be mastered, we learn them in math methods in undergrad but never apply them except for the binomial/taylor expansion used in SP. that was it. didnt even use it for multipole expansion in EM.
moving on to math methods. i have to thank god i remembered most of math methods in USM. i was taught again everything from undergrad but with more physics in it. i dont understand whats going on in my class. usually i just space out and do my own thing. he uses 3 weeks to teach simple matrixes and 1 week in Bessel function. so i didnt really bother to listen. Arfken book is really a good book for theorist, but if you've forgotten most of the math dont expect Arfken to help at all. there's no step by step guide (i fall back to Boas). the syllabus is mostly physics concepts. like they give you a EM/QM system with known BC conditions solve the equation. sometimes will come through bessel (spherical/ cylindrical system usually symetric) zeroth order and sometimes depending on the bessel type. then we have the helmholtz too (he talk bout it for just 20 mins and i was tested- i left it entirely blank) 2nd &1st order differential, wronskian inhomogenous method, .power series (in the weirdest way) gamma function, legendre,rieman zeta function, bernoulli generating function (this was the only thing new to me and maybe the reiman zeta functions too) . well long thing short i hate Arfken but now that i'm much better at math, i like it alot but as a study material for undergrad no way in hell student is going solve the questions, especially students that are not trained to be creative. most of my homeworks i do by brute creativity.. oh also we used math programming (mathematica/maple) in homeworks too. generating graph for bessel, solving matrices, solving long tedious gama function.. etc. he doesnt teach us in class. he just ask us to use it. oh we also learn complex analysis for two weeks too (use Spiegel, Schaum book)... we had the cos/sin/sec formulas for finding the remainder in Cauchy integral.
so beside that i work as two Teaching Assistant (discussion leader mid level foundation in astronomy class and grader for beginner level astronomy class). so i self taught myself. heck i dont want to be astronomer now.. they have their new way of SI units. got me confused alot of times.
grad school is difficult. i need to juggle so many things and classes are not easy. am always too busy to miss home or think bout anything else. i need to buck up more. the kids here are so much better than i am, many already have Masters and their technique of understanding some concepts are really mind blowing. thank gawd i'm good at math. but that only can help me so much. i dont really understand most of the math and why i do it. now its beginning to get much clearer. majority of the ppl in the department are asian (im the lousiest Asian) and non americans. so it doesnt feel like in US at all sometimes except when i go out for walks/grocery shopping.
moving on, its my second sem, i'm taking intro to particle physics and EMII. again one is thought by an Italian maybe and the other a distinguished chinese string theory professor. hope this semester i'll be able to pull through. oh and i got offered to join a theoretical particle physics group. not quite sure id jump in yet. i still want to do GR, and that professor is a little intimidating.. maybe id just wait and see.
academic aside, we have colloquium (compulsory) every thursdays where we invite speakers from other university ( can be from field related within the department) to present 1 hour talk on their work, and grad students are encourage to go have lunch with them. we also have individual group talk, where group lecturers will present papers which the group is interested in understanding. say since i'm in the HEAP group (high energy and astroparticle physics) i can put up a paper i'm interested to talk bout, and the lecturer who is best at field will present it. its just one hour, 4 papers to talk bout and discuss. i usually just sit there quiet and watch the people debate over the paper. i also can sit in for other group talks, say the observational astronomy group/condense matter group (very very strong condense matter group here). no student presentation but we are encourage to try.
Administration. every semester i need to speak to my graduate adviser on my current progress. he will tell me which subjects i need to pursue my field, who to speak to, and help me organise which subjects to take. if i have conflict with any of the researchers (such as can't get along with the lecturer i'm TA for or classes conflicts/ switch group), he will put me first. everyone is very professional here. nobody forces anybody to stay in group. we are welcome to explore but not encourage to hop because then we have to go through a whole revamp of supervising committee. we need 3 supervisor that will judge our phd candidacy. so if we hope from group to group we must change the committee and its troublesome. also one thing i notice is, all the professors office door are open, if its close it means they'r not there or they can't talk. but most of the times the doors are always open. facilities, great facilities we have free printing (people actually print a whole book!), scanning copying. and endless flow of coffee, microwave, refrigerator, and a physics open access library, general computer and computer labs. we get our own office space, and key. access 24 hours. oh yes we have a woman in physics group too. where the women in physics group get together to help each other progress in this so very male dominated arena. if there is hint of bias in the group or favours, we usually go to them and they'll provide advise or champion on our behalf.
Thats about it. as life in Utah. pressure, everyone is just too darn nice and well mannered, mormons. i have to watch my mouth (lucky in the physics department most of them are atheist). go to church in DRESSES! so i decided to go when no one is around. great commuting! university students get free public transport (we have busses and some sort like MRT). best part is, its not like Rapid busses. we have online tracker for campus shuttle buses, and online route calculator for public transportation. just key in time depart and location, the website will calculate various options, a full itinerary how to get there. i get free Broadway passes at the U, student price musical/art performance/ football or any tournament leagues. (oh i'm classically trained pianist so i musically inclined). Use university sport facilities for free (unlike usm must pay 50cent per person for 30 mins-badminton court), we have gym (its never empty, swim pool badminton court etc). free campus news (unlike usm pay RM1.50 ). nothing is dull here. the only thing is expansive is the food although the portion is huge. grocery shopping is way cheaper. quality of life here is good. they make sure you're not just studying but have the opportunity to explore. also make everything easy and comfortable for you. for instance you can sell back your textbook, or you can take as much classes as you want. take your time exploring other department classes. the museum is always having new exhibits. the university library.. i think its my second home. you can make book online request/reserve (and get them to send it to you at your department), unlimited borrowing books! and where they're nearly due you get email notification, there's a piano here, lost of books, anything you struck out in Amazon we have it! Starbucks concept study/drink coffee area. almost an entire level of Mac pc. white boards everywhere for you to write your ideas. place to eat and study, rooms for discussion. general reading area. its like Borders concept (dont even get me started with the public library-even more cosier!). very very comfortable,all type of chairs, sofas to suit your comfort. ah most importantly its not crazily cold as in USM library! im infact writing this email in library.
the only thing i'm missing most is my wardrobe and food. i can't get sizes here. cant get malaysian food here too. the best is chinese and they are not even spicy. heck tomyam here from a thai restaurant is sweet! i have to go for indian and say very very spicy, as in extra spicy. ooo something you all will be stunt. KFC chicken here is half the size back in malaysia. when i ordered i thought i got a lousy chicken but each time i get the same two skinny pieces. everything else is sweet. starbucks signature hot chocolate very sweet. baskin robbins ice cream sweet too.. i come here i dont get to eat all these things for cheap because of the sugar content/ or the high cholestrol count. i dont even get to shop for nice clothes because they always run out of size/ or just dont have them in size. so besides buying books, food and electronics nothing much you can do beside window shopping.
well thats bout it my update! hope to hear from you soon. i wont be coming back any sooner, maybe in 2013.
Mei Hui
_______________________________________________________________
I started my 2nd semester this week. Still on full tuition benefits (passed cgpa 1st sem-i am very lucky in this aspect).
Life here is good. but i'll jump right in to academic stuff so you know whats here all about.
i took two classes the last semester, EM1 &class mech, Math methodes. For EM1 (Jackson) and class mech (Landau) Math Met (Arfken-my prof co author for this book and he made us use it).
E&M& class mech was a combine class because we were taught how to use the equation of motion in E field and along with special relativity as well. (he taught us this in one week be4 and came up in finals). landau book is a very good book. also there are alot more in class mech syllabus that weren't taught in class mech class. but even before i begin, please i think its a dead necessary for all undergrad student to take class mech. overhere its a compulsory regardless what field and they expect you to know. its lucky i did took it otherwise i have to waste a semester relearning them with undergrad and believe you me i had a lot of trouble trying to understand class mech, i'm always behind everyone.
ok we learnt how to modify the equation by keeping the potential level unchange in through the lagrangian, find the period too. and we do this by employing variational calculus in it, we also learn how to use the green theorem lots and lots of math learnt in math methods we used, spherical harmonics (EM), weird ways of integration i never thought of before (i can't quite remember which one now cause now it is easy for me and i dont remember which i already know and which i just learnt). then we learn the four dimension matrices in special relativity (never seen in undergrad) . and most important thing was the boundary conditions, i learnt how to apply boundary condition naturally i learn how the physics of dielectrics, conductors, new system arrangements of those two, edges and no edges (E field explode). which means i need to understand whats going on in the B field and H field. (it took me serious serious weeks of studying and banging my head on the wall to get this right because this was entirely skimmed through in undergrad). oh one thing i learn and value the most was how to approximate equations and finding out the constant by apply fourier transform. this is the hardest part of it because even after i derive everything i need to know which to eliminate which i never know which or which constant to keep and which to forgo. in the end i get lots minus of marks because i couldnt get it down to the simplest form. this intuition and physics need to be mastered, we learn them in math methods in undergrad but never apply them except for the binomial/taylor expansion used in SP. that was it. didnt even use it for multipole expansion in EM.
moving on to math methods. i have to thank god i remembered most of math methods in USM. i was taught again everything from undergrad but with more physics in it. i dont understand whats going on in my class. usually i just space out and do my own thing. he uses 3 weeks to teach simple matrixes and 1 week in Bessel function. so i didnt really bother to listen. Arfken book is really a good book for theorist, but if you've forgotten most of the math dont expect Arfken to help at all. there's no step by step guide (i fall back to Boas). the syllabus is mostly physics concepts. like they give you a EM/QM system with known BC conditions solve the equation. sometimes will come through bessel (spherical/ cylindrical system usually symetric) zeroth order and sometimes depending on the bessel type. then we have the helmholtz too (he talk bout it for just 20 mins and i was tested- i left it entirely blank) 2nd &1st order differential, wronskian inhomogenous method, .power series (in the weirdest way) gamma function, legendre,rieman zeta function, bernoulli generating function (this was the only thing new to me and maybe the reiman zeta functions too) . well long thing short i hate Arfken but now that i'm much better at math, i like it alot but as a study material for undergrad no way in hell student is going solve the questions, especially students that are not trained to be creative. most of my homeworks i do by brute creativity.. oh also we used math programming (mathematica/maple) in homeworks too. generating graph for bessel, solving matrices, solving long tedious gama function.. etc. he doesnt teach us in class. he just ask us to use it. oh we also learn complex analysis for two weeks too (use Spiegel, Schaum book)... we had the cos/sin/sec formulas for finding the remainder in Cauchy integral.
so beside that i work as two Teaching Assistant (discussion leader mid level foundation in astronomy class and grader for beginner level astronomy class). so i self taught myself. heck i dont want to be astronomer now.. they have their new way of SI units. got me confused alot of times.
grad school is difficult. i need to juggle so many things and classes are not easy. am always too busy to miss home or think bout anything else. i need to buck up more. the kids here are so much better than i am, many already have Masters and their technique of understanding some concepts are really mind blowing. thank gawd i'm good at math. but that only can help me so much. i dont really understand most of the math and why i do it. now its beginning to get much clearer. majority of the ppl in the department are asian (im the lousiest Asian) and non americans. so it doesnt feel like in US at all sometimes except when i go out for walks/grocery shopping.
moving on, its my second sem, i'm taking intro to particle physics and EMII. again one is thought by an Italian maybe and the other a distinguished chinese string theory professor. hope this semester i'll be able to pull through. oh and i got offered to join a theoretical particle physics group. not quite sure id jump in yet. i still want to do GR, and that professor is a little intimidating.. maybe id just wait and see.
academic aside, we have colloquium (compulsory) every thursdays where we invite speakers from other university ( can be from field related within the department) to present 1 hour talk on their work, and grad students are encourage to go have lunch with them. we also have individual group talk, where group lecturers will present papers which the group is interested in understanding. say since i'm in the HEAP group (high energy and astroparticle physics) i can put up a paper i'm interested to talk bout, and the lecturer who is best at field will present it. its just one hour, 4 papers to talk bout and discuss. i usually just sit there quiet and watch the people debate over the paper. i also can sit in for other group talks, say the observational astronomy group/condense matter group (very very strong condense matter group here). no student presentation but we are encourage to try.
Administration. every semester i need to speak to my graduate adviser on my current progress. he will tell me which subjects i need to pursue my field, who to speak to, and help me organise which subjects to take. if i have conflict with any of the researchers (such as can't get along with the lecturer i'm TA for or classes conflicts/ switch group), he will put me first. everyone is very professional here. nobody forces anybody to stay in group. we are welcome to explore but not encourage to hop because then we have to go through a whole revamp of supervising committee. we need 3 supervisor that will judge our phd candidacy. so if we hope from group to group we must change the committee and its troublesome. also one thing i notice is, all the professors office door are open, if its close it means they'r not there or they can't talk. but most of the times the doors are always open. facilities, great facilities we have free printing (people actually print a whole book!), scanning copying. and endless flow of coffee, microwave, refrigerator, and a physics open access library, general computer and computer labs. we get our own office space, and key. access 24 hours. oh yes we have a woman in physics group too. where the women in physics group get together to help each other progress in this so very male dominated arena. if there is hint of bias in the group or favours, we usually go to them and they'll provide advise or champion on our behalf.
Thats about it. as life in Utah. pressure, everyone is just too darn nice and well mannered, mormons. i have to watch my mouth (lucky in the physics department most of them are atheist). go to church in DRESSES! so i decided to go when no one is around. great commuting! university students get free public transport (we have busses and some sort like MRT). best part is, its not like Rapid busses. we have online tracker for campus shuttle buses, and online route calculator for public transportation. just key in time depart and location, the website will calculate various options, a full itinerary how to get there. i get free Broadway passes at the U, student price musical/art performance/ football or any tournament leagues. (oh i'm classically trained pianist so i musically inclined). Use university sport facilities for free (unlike usm must pay 50cent per person for 30 mins-badminton court), we have gym (its never empty, swim pool badminton court etc). free campus news (unlike usm pay RM1.50 ). nothing is dull here. the only thing is expansive is the food although the portion is huge. grocery shopping is way cheaper. quality of life here is good. they make sure you're not just studying but have the opportunity to explore. also make everything easy and comfortable for you. for instance you can sell back your textbook, or you can take as much classes as you want. take your time exploring other department classes. the museum is always having new exhibits. the university library.. i think its my second home. you can make book online request/reserve (and get them to send it to you at your department), unlimited borrowing books! and where they're nearly due you get email notification, there's a piano here, lost of books, anything you struck out in Amazon we have it! Starbucks concept study/drink coffee area. almost an entire level of Mac pc. white boards everywhere for you to write your ideas. place to eat and study, rooms for discussion. general reading area. its like Borders concept (dont even get me started with the public library-even more cosier!). very very comfortable,all type of chairs, sofas to suit your comfort. ah most importantly its not crazily cold as in USM library! im infact writing this email in library.
the only thing i'm missing most is my wardrobe and food. i can't get sizes here. cant get malaysian food here too. the best is chinese and they are not even spicy. heck tomyam here from a thai restaurant is sweet! i have to go for indian and say very very spicy, as in extra spicy. ooo something you all will be stunt. KFC chicken here is half the size back in malaysia. when i ordered i thought i got a lousy chicken but each time i get the same two skinny pieces. everything else is sweet. starbucks signature hot chocolate very sweet. baskin robbins ice cream sweet too.. i come here i dont get to eat all these things for cheap because of the sugar content/ or the high cholestrol count. i dont even get to shop for nice clothes because they always run out of size/ or just dont have them in size. so besides buying books, food and electronics nothing much you can do beside window shopping.
well thats bout it my update! hope to hear from you soon. i wont be coming back any sooner, maybe in 2013.
Mei Hui
15.1.12
Life of an ex-USM student as a physics graduate student in an American university (part 2)
The following are the original writting of Mei Hui (with some minor modification). This is the second part of the correspondence between me and Mei Hui I wish to share.
___________________________________________________________
the students (undergrad) are much older or somewhere my age. you can see ranges from 16-40 ages in class. some are very smart, majority are studying and working (to pay off student loans) and for some it is their second/3rd degree. they although results are incomparable with the asian. but my gawd some physics concept i don't even know (knowing me i thought i was all great in undergrad but i am now so humbled here). they can answer on spot in every new chapter after just a brief teaching. every time the lecturer ask something that can't be found in textbooks but is related, all asians can't answer. for an example i sat for an intro to particle class. lecturer ask for spherical harmonic Exp (k.r), where k is wave number and r is radial position vector. what does this k.r represent.. i couldnt answer,( to me mathematically its just a scalar number) and i'm a grad student! an undergrad says it represent crest! he got it right! this are just one of the few examples. only the locals can see how it relates and how to logically explain the several possibilities. i envy them so much. i wish i can 'see' physics like how they sees it. ofcourse when it comes to math we ace them easy. unbelievable some undergrad still dont know multiplication tables but i blame their calculators. wahh their calculator very very high tech! never seen anything like it, can plot histogram, any graph, store data equation. so during the exam they are not allowed to use their own calculators, the lecturer will provide them similar to casio 350 calculator to use. so in short why the asians are still backward eventhough scoring multitude of As... we dont understand the concepts, we are uncreative, constraint to such narrow straight road that anything else is completely in blind area. you know how i was outcast in malaysia because i ask to much i know too much but i'm so grateful i'm inquisitive. over here i am normal and ppl back home is abnormal, and most importantly i am appreciated here. my ideas are heard and often being praised. this is where i am meant to grow. i guess somehow this is the main reason a high power decided to give me a shot in the States, to finally feel belong. however outside from physics i'm still an outcast for peers my age. apparently i think differently and the way my logic and social skill runs dont blend in. maybe its the culture i'm still too reserve and sometimes talk to seriously. same case back in penang also, my circle of 'coffee' friends are 10years older than i am. so this my problem.
i love how they emphasise the best and suitable education program for the students.. we have a physics advisor for the new coming students.. where potential undergrad student (which is indecisive of a bachelor program) can seek council by appointment. if he is unsure bout physics, he can arrange to meet. and this advisor will tell him what he'll learn, what is required to know, how he's going to learn it, what jobs he can secure. what other alternatives he can take if he finds physics is too difficult but is still interested etc. and all this is before applying for a bachelor program. not like us, (apply, get and then regret). other department also have a undergrad student advisor.
the staff is the most important, we treat them with great respect, and they are readily helpful. they help you how to do grants, (yes its the staff who helps you secure grants), keep up your visa status, make sure you're insured and financially ok. run your mails, and if you need you in almost all general things you can think of. same goes to technician, physics demonstration technician can run all kind of experiments, and they make their own large scale tools. such as spectroscopy grating, some principle on newton laws, planetary rotation and all kind of undergrad physics principle. the technician infact is just not any technician he knows physics.
also every semester we have a science fair, where the physics department will showcase and try to get new ppl interested in physics. undergrad students are asked to demonstrate simple physics to get extra credits.
oh last but very important.. everyone here regardless of status treats everyone equally. the locals holds from garbage collectors to professional jobs and everyone greets each other with respect. nobody is higher than the other or look down the other. they dont need to hire foreigners to do all the dirty works or donkey jobs because none of it is considered that way. their jobs are given proper inspection that the employee is given fair wages and if there are any places to improve or minimise their work load it is done. the homeless you can't tell one apart from the other.they have proper clothes, well presented, and the only way you're going to find out they're homeless is when they reveal it to you. and even if there is a ragged homeless person, he/she is entitle to every privilege as a normal citizen. they are allowed to go into public library/government buildings, (not fancy restaurants la) etc. the public library is full of homeless people, reading or just taking a nap. although its a scary feeling of getting mugged, they are welcome and there's nothing to worry bout. also for people with disabilities. whoa a whole new stage. every buses (includes campus bus) has the auto thing that comes down for OKU ppl, and the bus driver is obligated to help them without needing to be prompt, every toilet fitted with OKU, everywhere where there are steps, there's also a 'slide pavement' for oku. and all oku have special electric chairs if their are disable bottom down. in classes oku are treated with respect, students will open door for them, pass notes to them. no problem. if you're oku you can survive independently here. anyways all doors have a secondary automated door so People with disabilities just press a button and the door will swing open itself. Lesbian gay tran bi people too have equal rights. there's even a whole department here in the U to defend their rights. and there's also a LGTB organisation/ pubs/ bars and a day to be proud. and in book store you can see LGTB session.
___________________________________________________________
the students (undergrad) are much older or somewhere my age. you can see ranges from 16-40 ages in class. some are very smart, majority are studying and working (to pay off student loans) and for some it is their second/3rd degree. they although results are incomparable with the asian. but my gawd some physics concept i don't even know (knowing me i thought i was all great in undergrad but i am now so humbled here). they can answer on spot in every new chapter after just a brief teaching. every time the lecturer ask something that can't be found in textbooks but is related, all asians can't answer. for an example i sat for an intro to particle class. lecturer ask for spherical harmonic Exp (k.r), where k is wave number and r is radial position vector. what does this k.r represent.. i couldnt answer,( to me mathematically its just a scalar number) and i'm a grad student! an undergrad says it represent crest! he got it right! this are just one of the few examples. only the locals can see how it relates and how to logically explain the several possibilities. i envy them so much. i wish i can 'see' physics like how they sees it. ofcourse when it comes to math we ace them easy. unbelievable some undergrad still dont know multiplication tables but i blame their calculators. wahh their calculator very very high tech! never seen anything like it, can plot histogram, any graph, store data equation. so during the exam they are not allowed to use their own calculators, the lecturer will provide them similar to casio 350 calculator to use. so in short why the asians are still backward eventhough scoring multitude of As... we dont understand the concepts, we are uncreative, constraint to such narrow straight road that anything else is completely in blind area. you know how i was outcast in malaysia because i ask to much i know too much but i'm so grateful i'm inquisitive. over here i am normal and ppl back home is abnormal, and most importantly i am appreciated here. my ideas are heard and often being praised. this is where i am meant to grow. i guess somehow this is the main reason a high power decided to give me a shot in the States, to finally feel belong. however outside from physics i'm still an outcast for peers my age. apparently i think differently and the way my logic and social skill runs dont blend in. maybe its the culture i'm still too reserve and sometimes talk to seriously. same case back in penang also, my circle of 'coffee' friends are 10years older than i am. so this my problem.
i love how they emphasise the best and suitable education program for the students.. we have a physics advisor for the new coming students.. where potential undergrad student (which is indecisive of a bachelor program) can seek council by appointment. if he is unsure bout physics, he can arrange to meet. and this advisor will tell him what he'll learn, what is required to know, how he's going to learn it, what jobs he can secure. what other alternatives he can take if he finds physics is too difficult but is still interested etc. and all this is before applying for a bachelor program. not like us, (apply, get and then regret). other department also have a undergrad student advisor.
the staff is the most important, we treat them with great respect, and they are readily helpful. they help you how to do grants, (yes its the staff who helps you secure grants), keep up your visa status, make sure you're insured and financially ok. run your mails, and if you need you in almost all general things you can think of. same goes to technician, physics demonstration technician can run all kind of experiments, and they make their own large scale tools. such as spectroscopy grating, some principle on newton laws, planetary rotation and all kind of undergrad physics principle. the technician infact is just not any technician he knows physics.
also every semester we have a science fair, where the physics department will showcase and try to get new ppl interested in physics. undergrad students are asked to demonstrate simple physics to get extra credits.
oh last but very important.. everyone here regardless of status treats everyone equally. the locals holds from garbage collectors to professional jobs and everyone greets each other with respect. nobody is higher than the other or look down the other. they dont need to hire foreigners to do all the dirty works or donkey jobs because none of it is considered that way. their jobs are given proper inspection that the employee is given fair wages and if there are any places to improve or minimise their work load it is done. the homeless you can't tell one apart from the other.they have proper clothes, well presented, and the only way you're going to find out they're homeless is when they reveal it to you. and even if there is a ragged homeless person, he/she is entitle to every privilege as a normal citizen. they are allowed to go into public library/government buildings, (not fancy restaurants la) etc. the public library is full of homeless people, reading or just taking a nap. although its a scary feeling of getting mugged, they are welcome and there's nothing to worry bout. also for people with disabilities. whoa a whole new stage. every buses (includes campus bus) has the auto thing that comes down for OKU ppl, and the bus driver is obligated to help them without needing to be prompt, every toilet fitted with OKU, everywhere where there are steps, there's also a 'slide pavement' for oku. and all oku have special electric chairs if their are disable bottom down. in classes oku are treated with respect, students will open door for them, pass notes to them. no problem. if you're oku you can survive independently here. anyways all doors have a secondary automated door so People with disabilities just press a button and the door will swing open itself. Lesbian gay tran bi people too have equal rights. there's even a whole department here in the U to defend their rights. and there's also a LGTB organisation/ pubs/ bars and a day to be proud. and in book store you can see LGTB session.
19.8.11
C.V. matters?
If you are a student who just completed your B.Sc. and intending to further your application to post graduate course in overseas, people don't expect much of you. If you have an excellent research achievement people will add points to you. Having no eye-catching accomplishment people won't deduct your points. If the professor wishes to take you while you don't have severe competition from others, your c.v. will usually be sufficient to impress him. If there is someone far more outstanding than you, your c.v. won't serve much to help also. This is the way how i see c.v. for the purpose to apply as a Master/P.hD candidature. For this purpose, it does not need you to boast or decorate your c.v.. What you have with you, just represent them on the document.
Some people are very 'good' in making 'excellent c.v'. Often it is rather a fabrication process. However skillful you are in fabricating a c.v., you can't make a stone to float on water. if you have it, you have it. If you don't you can't create one instantly on paper (assuming we all stick to the code of not cheating). People who believe that decorating a c.v. is of utmost importance are usually people from the commercial world. These poeple believe in impressing people by the look. People who believe that the quality of a c.v., irrespective of the information contained, is determined by how fancy it is presented, are superficial people who has no insight for what is essential. I often see advocacy about writing an impressive c.v. Classes are conducted and fees taken to teach people how to produce a c.v. that sells you on the market at good values. But how could you write such a highly valued c.v. if you have not any achievement to write about? It's the accomplishment of your past determines whether your c.v. is of high value or otherwise. It is not determined by the English language you used, the fancy format / font / colourful background / animation of your personal webpage that go in to that document called c.v. Having an impressive c.v. without having an excellent achievement record is a contradiction. One who claims to have an impressive c.v. without actually inheriting any real past achievements renders others to suspect him of faking his own achievement record. You would rather have a mediocre c.v. rather than having one that arouse suspecion.
Overall, what i want to say is that, there is really nothing much you can do to your c.v.. If you already have it, you will have already recorded it on the paper. My assumption is that a conscientious professor who sincerely look for students with competent academic capability will is not like those superficial people. You will get your offers if the condition favours to the happening in that direction. The wording, format, or other cosmetic ingredient in the c.v. is not really a single factor that could possibly effect your chance to be accepted. You are your achievment, but your c.v is not.
Some people are very 'good' in making 'excellent c.v'. Often it is rather a fabrication process. However skillful you are in fabricating a c.v., you can't make a stone to float on water. if you have it, you have it. If you don't you can't create one instantly on paper (assuming we all stick to the code of not cheating). People who believe that decorating a c.v. is of utmost importance are usually people from the commercial world. These poeple believe in impressing people by the look. People who believe that the quality of a c.v., irrespective of the information contained, is determined by how fancy it is presented, are superficial people who has no insight for what is essential. I often see advocacy about writing an impressive c.v. Classes are conducted and fees taken to teach people how to produce a c.v. that sells you on the market at good values. But how could you write such a highly valued c.v. if you have not any achievement to write about? It's the accomplishment of your past determines whether your c.v. is of high value or otherwise. It is not determined by the English language you used, the fancy format / font / colourful background / animation of your personal webpage that go in to that document called c.v. Having an impressive c.v. without having an excellent achievement record is a contradiction. One who claims to have an impressive c.v. without actually inheriting any real past achievements renders others to suspect him of faking his own achievement record. You would rather have a mediocre c.v. rather than having one that arouse suspecion.
Overall, what i want to say is that, there is really nothing much you can do to your c.v.. If you already have it, you will have already recorded it on the paper. My assumption is that a conscientious professor who sincerely look for students with competent academic capability will is not like those superficial people. You will get your offers if the condition favours to the happening in that direction. The wording, format, or other cosmetic ingredient in the c.v. is not really a single factor that could possibly effect your chance to be accepted. You are your achievment, but your c.v is not.
8.8.11
Atomistic material modelling
I personally find materialistic modelling promising. Not only because it is publishable but also its a field where physics is applied for practical applications. It seems weird that Malaysians do not do much atomistic material
modelling. This is a field most easily accessed, cheap, and can supply much applications. It's the best bet for developing country like us. Thailand, Vietnam all now jump into the band wagon madly.
Doing a bit of literature review on materialistic modelling you will find that there are definitely a huge avenue to pursue. Modelling can be done at many scales and levels, from ab initio up to continuum limit. There are expansive and accurate methods like quantum monte carlo (QMC), quantum molecular dynamics (QMD) - or known as Carr-Parinello MD (CPMD), DFT, quantum chemistry methods such as CI and Hartree-Fock. Then there are semiempirical methods such as tight binding methods. Then there is classical molecular dynamics method. Almost any phenomena process related to material can be modelled and calculated (accuracy and correctness are another issue). You just got to know the methods which is not so difficult (merely tedious).
I have gradually formed a small group of students with other research collaborators. We are slowly picking up the know-how in MD using a software called LAMMPS. Meanwhile, we are also venturing into other software to model different types of systems as well, e.g., biomolecule MD. When another master student join in (if he ever turn up) early next year, I will get him to do DFT calculations for ferroelectrics.
Our current plan is to understand the step-by-step procedure to obtain force fields for a new material using existing software packages. A lot of very technical details involved e.g., translating one type of file format of a software package into another, fine-tuning the input parameters etc. But once we have gone through that, I expect to acquire the necessary know-how to calculate the physical properties of any arbitrary crystal (meaning any suitable material with experimentally measured data). It's kind of 'cheap' in a sense, as these are work done mostly by material scientists instead of by physicists.
At the moment we have already acquired some very minor achievement where we have used LAMMPS to reproduce some mechanical and thermodynamics properties of a well studied material SrTiO3. My master student improved the force field and reproduced a results that suit experiments better. I told him that now our agenda is to master the knowledge to generate force fields for materials which are not yet available in the literature. I reckon that obtaining the force field for a material not been published itself is a good achievement that could have real impact to the real world. Another beginning student is modelling the growth of graphene on a silicon carbide substrate by properly annealing it, also using LAMMPS. This is a project in collaboration with Prof Lai, a Malaysian who is a very senior professor in national central university in Taiwan. He have provided much helpful and unreserved advice to us. So grateful to Prof. Lai.
There is a lot of room in computational modelling of materials, and I am half-way in exploring it. Hopes remain to go deeper into it.
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