Life of an ex-USM student as a physics graduate student in an American university (part 1)

Mei Hui is an ex-undegraduate student from USM school of physics (graduated year 2010). She is now pursuing her Ph.D. in Utah University in the US. I am profoundly proud of her for daring to take up the proactive effort to make her way to the US to pursue her dream. She wrote to me from time to time. Her sharing of expereince as a Malaysian graduate student in a US physics graduate school is remarkably interesting. Her lengthy emails reflects the many constrasts between our local academic environment and that in the US. From her email, in  many ways, we understand in vivid detail our difficiencies when subjected to comparison with a mor mature society. I wish that my adopting her email to me in this blog could dissaminate some inpiring seed to open up the minds and world view of our local people.

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I started my 2nd semester this week. Still on full tuition benefits (passed cgpa 1st sem-i am very lucky in this aspect).

Life here is good. but i'll jump right in to academic stuff so you know whats here all about.

i took two classes the last semester, EM1 &class mech, Math methodes. For EM1 (Jackson) and class mech (Landau) Math Met (Arfken-my prof co author for this book and he made us use it).

E&M& class mech was a combine class because we were taught how to use the equation of motion in E field and along with special relativity as well. (he taught us this in one week be4 and came up in finals). landau book is a very good book. also there are alot more in class mech syllabus that weren't taught in class mech class. but even before i begin, please i think its a dead necessary for all undergrad student to take class mech. overhere its a compulsory regardless what field and they expect you to know. its lucky i did took it otherwise i have to waste a semester relearning them with undergrad and believe you me i had a lot of trouble trying to understand class mech, i'm always behind everyone.

ok we learnt how to modify the equation by keeping the potential level unchange in through the lagrangian, find the period too. and we do this by employing variational calculus in it, we also learn how to use the green theorem lots and lots of math learnt in math methods we used, spherical harmonics (EM), weird ways of integration i never thought of before (i can't quite remember which one now cause now it is easy for me and i dont remember which i already know and which i just learnt). then we learn the four dimension matrices in special relativity (never seen in undergrad) . and most important thing was the boundary conditions, i learnt how to apply boundary condition naturally i learn how the physics of dielectrics, conductors, new system arrangements of those two, edges and no edges (E field explode). which means i need to understand whats going on in the B field and H field. (it took me serious serious weeks of studying and banging my head on the wall to get this right because this was entirely skimmed through in undergrad).  oh one thing i learn and value the most was how to approximate equations and finding out the constant by apply fourier transform. this is the hardest part of it because even after i derive everything i need to know which to eliminate which i never know which or which constant to keep and which to forgo. in the end i get lots minus of marks because i couldnt get it down to the simplest form. this intuition and physics need to be mastered, we learn them in math methods in undergrad but never apply them except for the binomial/taylor expansion used in SP. that was it. didnt even use it for multipole expansion in EM.

moving on to math methods. i have to thank god i remembered most of math methods in USM. i was taught again everything from undergrad but with more physics in it. i dont understand whats going on in my class. usually i just space out and do my own thing. he uses 3 weeks to teach simple matrixes and 1 week in Bessel function. so i didnt really bother to listen. Arfken book is really a good book for theorist, but if you've forgotten most of the math dont expect Arfken to help at all. there's no step by step guide (i fall back to Boas).  the syllabus is mostly physics concepts. like they give you a EM/QM system with known BC conditions solve the equation. sometimes will come through bessel (spherical/ cylindrical system usually symetric) zeroth order and sometimes depending on the bessel type. then we have the helmholtz too (he talk bout it for just 20 mins and i was tested- i left it entirely blank) 2nd &1st order differential, wronskian inhomogenous method, .power series (in the weirdest way) gamma function, legendre,rieman zeta function, bernoulli generating function (this was the only thing new to me and maybe the reiman zeta functions too) . well long thing short i hate Arfken but now that i'm much better at math, i like it alot but as a study material for undergrad no way in hell student is going solve the questions, especially students that are not trained to be creative. most of my homeworks i do by brute creativity.. oh also we used math programming (mathematica/maple) in homeworks too. generating graph for bessel, solving matrices, solving long tedious gama function.. etc. he doesnt teach us in class. he just ask us to use it. oh we also learn complex analysis for two weeks too (use Spiegel, Schaum book)... we had the cos/sin/sec formulas for finding the remainder in Cauchy integral.

so beside that i work as two Teaching Assistant (discussion leader mid level foundation in astronomy class and grader for beginner level astronomy class). so i self taught myself. heck i dont want to be astronomer now.. they have their new way of SI units. got me confused alot of times.

grad school is difficult. i need to juggle so many things and classes are not easy. am always too busy to miss home or think bout anything else. i need to buck up more. the kids here are so much better than i am, many already have Masters and their technique of understanding some concepts are really mind blowing. thank gawd i'm good at math. but that only can help me so much. i dont really understand most of the math and why i do it. now its beginning to get much clearer. majority of the ppl in the department are asian (im the lousiest Asian) and non americans. so it doesnt feel like in US at all sometimes except when i go out for walks/grocery shopping.

moving on, its my second sem, i'm taking intro to particle physics and EMII. again one is thought by an Italian maybe and the other a distinguished chinese string theory professor. hope this semester i'll be able to pull through. oh and i got offered to join a theoretical particle physics group. not quite sure id jump in yet. i still want to do GR, and that professor is a little intimidating.. maybe id just wait and see.

academic aside,  we have colloquium (compulsory) every thursdays where we invite speakers from other university ( can be from field related within the department) to present 1 hour talk on their work, and grad students are encourage to go have lunch with them. we also have individual group talk, where group lecturers will present papers which the group is interested in understanding. say since i'm in the HEAP group (high energy and astroparticle physics) i can put up a paper i'm interested to talk bout, and the lecturer who is best at field will present it. its just one hour, 4 papers to talk bout and discuss. i usually just sit there quiet and watch the people debate over the paper. i also can sit in for other group talks, say the observational astronomy group/condense matter group (very very strong condense matter group here). no student presentation but we are encourage to try.

Administration. every semester i need to speak to my graduate adviser on my current progress. he will tell me which subjects i need to pursue my field, who to speak to, and help me organise which subjects to take. if i have conflict with any of the researchers (such as can't get along with the lecturer i'm TA for or classes conflicts/ switch group), he will put me first. everyone is very professional here. nobody forces anybody to stay in group. we are welcome to explore but not encourage to hop because then we have to go through a whole revamp of supervising committee. we need 3 supervisor that will judge our phd candidacy. so if we hope from group to group we must change the committee and its troublesome. also one thing i notice is, all the professors office door are open, if its close it means they'r not there or they can't talk. but most of the times the doors are always open. facilities, great facilities we have free printing (people actually print a whole book!), scanning copying. and endless flow of coffee, microwave, refrigerator, and a physics open access library, general computer and computer labs. we get our own office space, and key. access 24 hours. oh yes we have a woman in physics group too. where the women in physics group get together to help each other progress in this so very male dominated arena. if there is hint of bias in the group or favours, we usually go to them and they'll provide advise or champion on our behalf.

Thats about it. as life in Utah. pressure, everyone is just too darn nice and well mannered, mormons. i have to watch my mouth (lucky in the physics department most of them are atheist). go to church in DRESSES! so i decided to go when no one is around. great commuting! university students get free public transport (we have busses and some sort like MRT). best part is, its not like Rapid busses. we have online tracker for campus shuttle buses, and online route calculator for public transportation. just key in time depart and location, the website will calculate various options, a full itinerary how to get there. i get free Broadway passes at the U, student price musical/art performance/ football or any tournament leagues.  (oh i'm classically trained pianist so i musically inclined). Use university sport facilities for free (unlike usm must pay 50cent per person for 30 mins-badminton court), we have gym (its never empty, swim pool badminton court etc). free campus news (unlike usm pay RM1.50 ). nothing is dull here. the only thing is expansive is the food although the portion is huge. grocery shopping is way cheaper. quality of life here is good. they make sure you're not just studying but have the opportunity to explore. also make everything easy and comfortable for you. for instance you can sell back your textbook, or you can take as much classes as you want. take your time exploring other department classes. the museum is always having new exhibits. the university library.. i think its my second home. you can make book online request/reserve (and get them to send it to you at your department), unlimited borrowing books! and where they're nearly due you get email notification, there's a piano here, lost of books, anything you struck out in Amazon we have it! Starbucks concept study/drink coffee area. almost an entire level of Mac pc. white boards everywhere for you to write your ideas. place to eat and study, rooms for discussion. general reading area. its like Borders concept (dont even get me started with the public library-even more cosier!). very very comfortable,all type of chairs, sofas to suit your comfort. ah most importantly its not crazily cold as in USM library! im infact writing this email in library.

the only thing i'm missing most is my wardrobe and food. i can't get sizes here. cant get malaysian food here too. the best is chinese and they are not even spicy. heck tomyam here from a thai restaurant is sweet! i have to go for indian and say very very spicy, as in extra spicy. ooo something you all will be stunt. KFC chicken here is half the size back in malaysia. when i ordered i thought i got a lousy chicken but each time i get the same two skinny pieces. everything else is sweet. starbucks signature hot chocolate very sweet. baskin robbins ice cream sweet too.. i come here i dont get to eat all these things for cheap because of the sugar content/ or the high cholestrol count. i dont even get to shop for nice clothes because they always run out of size/ or just dont have them in size. so besides buying books, food and electronics nothing much you can do beside window shopping.

well thats bout it my update! hope to hear from you soon. i wont be coming back any sooner, maybe in 2013.

Mei Hui

Life of an ex-USM student as a physics graduate student in an American university (part 2)

The following are the original writting of Mei Hui (with some minor modification). This is the second part of the correspondence between me and Mei Hui I wish to share.
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the students (undergrad) are much older or somewhere my age. you can see ranges from 16-40 ages in class. some are very smart, majority are studying and working (to pay off student loans) and for some it is their second/3rd degree. they although results are incomparable with the asian. but my gawd some physics concept i don't even know (knowing me i thought i was all great in undergrad but i am now so humbled here). they can answer on spot in every new chapter after just a brief teaching. every time the lecturer ask something that can't be found in textbooks but is related, all asians can't answer.  for an example i sat for an intro to particle class. lecturer ask for spherical harmonic Exp (k.r), where k is wave number and r is radial position vector. what does this k.r represent.. i couldnt answer,( to me mathematically its just a scalar number) and i'm a grad student! an undergrad says it represent crest! he got it right! this are just one of the few examples. only the locals can see how it relates and how to logically explain the several possibilities. i envy them so much. i wish i can 'see' physics like how they sees it. ofcourse when it comes to math we ace them easy.  unbelievable some undergrad still dont know multiplication tables but i blame their calculators. wahh their calculator very very high tech! never seen anything like it, can plot histogram, any graph, store data equation. so during the exam they are not allowed to use their own calculators, the lecturer will provide them similar to casio 350 calculator to use. so in short why the asians are still backward eventhough scoring multitude of As... we dont understand the concepts, we are uncreative,  constraint to such narrow straight road that anything else is completely in blind area. you know how i was outcast in malaysia because i ask to much i know too much but i'm so grateful i'm inquisitive. over here i am normal and ppl back home is abnormal, and most importantly i am appreciated here. my ideas are heard and often being praised. this is where i am meant to grow. i guess somehow this is the main reason a high power decided to give me a shot in the States, to finally feel belong.  however outside from physics i'm still an outcast for peers my age. apparently i think differently and the way my logic and social skill runs dont blend in. maybe its the culture i'm still too reserve and sometimes talk to seriously. same case back in penang also, my circle of 'coffee' friends are 10years older than i am. so this my problem.


i love how they emphasise the best and suitable education program for the students.. we have a physics advisor for the new coming students.. where potential undergrad student (which is indecisive of a bachelor program) can seek council by appointment. if he is unsure bout physics, he can arrange to meet. and this advisor will tell him what he'll learn, what is required to know, how he's going to learn it, what jobs he can secure. what other alternatives he can take if he finds physics is too difficult but is still interested etc. and all this is before applying for a bachelor program. not like us, (apply, get and then regret). other department also have a undergrad student advisor. 


the staff is the most important, we treat them with great respect, and they are readily helpful. they help you how to do grants, (yes its the staff who helps you secure grants), keep up your visa status, make sure you're insured and financially ok. run your mails, and if you need you in almost all general things you can think of. same goes to technician, physics demonstration technician can run all kind of experiments, and they make their own large scale tools. such as spectroscopy grating, some principle on newton laws, planetary rotation and all kind of undergrad physics principle. the technician infact is just not any technician he knows physics. 


also every semester we have a science fair, where the physics department will showcase and try to get new ppl interested in physics. undergrad students are asked to demonstrate simple physics to get extra credits. 


oh last but very important.. everyone here regardless of status treats everyone equally. the locals holds from garbage collectors to professional jobs and everyone greets each other with respect. nobody is higher than the other or look down the other. they dont need to hire foreigners to do all the dirty works or donkey jobs because none of it is considered that way. their jobs are given proper inspection that the employee is given fair wages and if there are any places to improve or minimise their work load it is done.  the homeless you can't tell one apart from the other.they have proper clothes, well presented, and the only way you're going to find out they're homeless is when they reveal it to you. and even if there is a ragged homeless person, he/she is entitle to every privilege as a normal citizen. they are allowed to go into public library/government buildings, (not fancy restaurants la) etc. the public library is full of homeless people, reading or just taking a nap. although its a scary feeling of getting mugged, they are welcome and there's nothing to worry bout. also for people with disabilities. whoa a whole new stage. every buses (includes campus bus) has the auto thing that comes down for OKU ppl, and the bus driver is obligated to help them without needing to be prompt, every toilet fitted with OKU, everywhere where there are steps, there's also a 'slide pavement' for oku. and all oku have special electric chairs if their are disable bottom down. in classes oku are treated with respect, students will open door for them, pass notes to them. no problem. if you're oku you can survive independently here. anyways all doors have a secondary automated door so People with disabilities just press a button and the door will swing open itself. Lesbian gay tran bi people too have equal rights. there's even a whole department here in the U to defend their rights. and there's also a LGTB organisation/ pubs/ bars and a day to be proud. and in book store you can see LGTB session.